When my wife and I got married we were constantly looking for fun dates that didn’t cost much money. We were broke and in love and just wanted to spend time together without breaking the bank. We loved free dates like reading and talking together at the bookstore or walking around Fort Worth’s Sundance Square with hot chocolate.

Soon my wife suggested that we go to the park to run together. This didn’t sound that appealing to me at first, for running was what my high school football coaches used as punishment, but I soon discovered that running with my wife next to the Trinity River in Fort Worth, Texas is one of my favorite things to do.

She wanted us to run and talk, but I learned that running and talking is impossible for me. All of my effort was on running and just breathing. But, I can run and listen while she runs and talks. We logged hundreds if not thousands of miles on the Trinity Trails and it wasn’t long before my wife had the idea of running a race together.

Running a race together is just like running on the trails together except you have to pay about $80 each. So much for the free dates. Of course, she assured me we would get a “free” t-shirt; a “free” t-shirt that cost us $80. Again, though, my wife was right, and I had the time of my life running these races with her. We started small with a few 5K races and then worked our way up to 10K, half-marathon, and even a full marathon race.

Pacesetters

I saw something new at these longer races; something called, “Pacesetters.” These are the more experienced runners. They hold up signs that let you know the pace they’ll be running for that race. Some signs read, “8 minute,” or “9:30,” or “10:15.” So if you want to run a pace of nine-minute miles, all you have to do is run next to the nine-minute pacesetter. You don’t need to worry about your pace or track your time. You just need to stay close to your pacesetter.

I think of these Pacesetters often as I think about the role of husbands and fathers today.

The man of the house, the husband, the father, is biblically called to lead their family as a Pacesetter. As the shepherd leader of the home, the pacesetter runs the Christian race well, pursuing Christ, paving a path for his wife and children to follow.

The pacesetter is able to tell his family, “run with me, stay close to me, and you will run this race well.”

In the New Testament, Paul proved to be a pacesetter that others could follow. Time and time again, Paul called other Christians to “Be imitators of me, as I am of Christ” (1 Cor. 11:1; see also 1 Cor. 4:16; Phil. 3:17; Phil. 4:9).

There is an urgent need for a generation of Pacesetters today; a generation of men, husbands, fathers, who spiritually lead their households.

There is an urgent need for a generation of men who are running the Christian race well as they call their wife and their children to follow them as they follow Christ.

Dependence on Christ

A Pacesetter can only lead well if he follows well. He can only lead others to know and obey Jesus when he knows and obeys Jesus. True spiritual leadership is rooted in submission to the Lordship of Jesus Christ.

Paul didn’t just call others to follow him. He called them to follow him, to imitate him, as he followed Christ.

Spiritual Leadership in the Home

Christian Smith, a Professor of Sociology at the University of Notre Dame, and Amy Adamczyk, a Professor of Sociology at John Jay College of Criminal Justice, engaged “empirical evidence from more than 230 interviews” along with “data from three nationally representative surveys,” in order to discover the most important factors in seeing faith passed down from one generation to another.[1] Their research concluded, “the single, most powerful causal influence on the religious lives of American teenagers and young adults is the religious lives of their parents…the influence of parents in religiousness trumps every other influence.”[2]   

Parents are on the front line of discipling the next generation.

One finding they note from their research highlights the unique role of fathers in the home:  

The role of fathers is especially important in forming children religiously. Both parents matter a lot in faith transmission, but the role of fathers appears to be particularly crucial, providing dads (when they are present) with extra influence and responsibility in the matter.[3]

We see a similar thread woven throughout Scripture as husbands and fathers are called again and again to spiritually lead their households, love and serve their wives, and pass their faith down to their children:

“For I have chosen him, that he may command his children and his household after him to keep the way of the Lord by doing righteousness and justices, so that the Lord may bring to Abraham what he has promised him” (Gen. 18:19).

“Every man shall take a lamb according to their fathers’ houses, a lamb for a household…then they shall take some of the blood and put it on the two doorposts and the lintel of the houses…The blood shall be a sign for you, on the houses where you are. And when I see the blood, I will pass over you, and no plague will befall you to destroy you, when I strike the land of Egypt…You shall observe this rite as a statute for you and for your sons forever…And when your children say to you, ‘What do you mean by this service?’ you shall say, ‘It is the sacrifice of the Lord’s Passover.’” (Ex. 12:3, 7, 13, 24, 26-27).

“The righteous who walks in his integrity—blessed are his children after him” (Prov. 20:7).

“Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and game himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word…In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies” (Eph. 5:25-26, 28).

“Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord” (Eph. 6:4).

“He must manage his own household well, with all dignity keeping his children submissive, for if someone does not know how to manage his own household, how will he care for God’s church” (1 Tim. 3:4-5)?

“Let deacons each be the husband of one wife, managing their children and their own households well” (1 Tim. 3:12).

The beauty of cultivating spiritual leadership in the home is seen in the fruit produced in the home. When men lead their families to know Jesus, entire families and generations are transformed (see Acts 10; 16:25-34).

Just as Zacchaeus joyfully received Jesus into his house (Luke 19:6) and soon after heard Jesus proclaim, “Today salvation has come to this house” (Luke 19:9), men today who bring Jesus and his Gospel into their homes are likely to see their entire family enjoying the Lord’s salvation. 

Husbands and fathers have a unique role to play in their family’s discipleship and, therefore, a weighty responsibility to lead well.

The calling for the Pacesetter is to simply chase the Lord as you lovingly and consistently tell your family, “run with me, stay close to me, and you will run this race well.”

Jonathan Williams, Ph.D. (Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary) is the founder and executive director of Gospel Family Ministries. This ministry focuses on strengthening family ministry in the local church and cultivating family worship in the Christian home. Jonathan is the author of “A Practical Theology of Family Worship” and “Gospel Family.” He also teaches as an adjunct professor at Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary in Fort Worth, TX, and is the managing editor of the Southwestern D6 Family Ministry Journal. Previously, Jonathan served for 10 years as the senior pastor of Wilcrest Baptist Church, a multi-ethnic church of more than 50 nations. He lives in Texas with his wife and three children.

[1] Christian Smith & Amy Adamczyk, Handing Down the Faith: How Parents Pass Their Religion on to the Next Generation (New York: Oxford University Press, 2021), 1.

[2] Smith & Adamczyk, Handing Down the Faith, 2-3.

[3] Smith & Adamczyk, Handing Down the Faith, 5.